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Domestic Violence and Abuse

Why Stop Self-Harming If It Helps?? #KatiFAQ Tumblr Tuesday! | Kati Morton

Cesar Sullivan

100 thoughts on “Why Stop Self-Harming If It Helps?? #KatiFAQ Tumblr Tuesday! | Kati Morton

  1. Hi Kati, What will my therapist do if I tell her that I honestly think if I were to attempt suicide I wouldn't contact anyone beforehand? We've been talking about my ideation recently, and I always promise her I would reach out if it got bad (I'm not lying when I make that promise). But recently I don't know that I would contact anyone… I don't have a plan or a timeframe (I'm too scared to think about those things), but will she commit me if I admit that to her? 🙁 Thanks <3

  2. I never usually comment, but I watch all of your videos and just wanted to say thank you so much for taking the time to make them. I wish that more people were like you out there, because you are truly helping people and bringing awareness. I'm still fighting xx

  3. #KatiFAQ: Hey Kati, can you tell us a little more about 'The Courage to Heal Workbook'? Is it only for people who have experienced sexual abuse, or it be helpful in cases of other abuse (e.g. emotional etc)? If so, how is it helpful? Thanks 🙂

  4. I feel 'naked' when my cuts heal and I feel like I need to cut to feel 'right' is it normal to not want to get better?

  5. I think it's important to stop self-harming because (at least for me) the behavior snowballs and just gets worse the longer you do the self harm. (ie, moving from one part of the body to another, cutting deeper, etc) At least for me, I'm afraid that if I don't stop, I will reach a point where I can't stop and the self-harm becomes life threatening.

  6. #KatiFAQ i have a psychiatrist appointment early tomorrow and I'm really starting to freak out, I don't know if I want to speak about my ED because i don't want them to judge me. my old GP never took me seriously because I'm not under weight! please help!

  7. Do you look through your youtube DMs for your Wed Q+As or is it just the video comments? I sent you a message 🙂 having your videos to watch every day is so therapeutic! THANK YOU.

  8. Is there any way to just get rid of the nightmares? I'm in my junior year of high school so everything is already very stressful and my nightmares are just making it worse. I can't concentrate and they are causing me to miss school because I'm exhausted mentally and physically. I can barely get off my bed and I've missed 10 days of school already.

  9. Yes, I feel that way. Her character in particular is just comforting for me. As I preteen I used to kind of 'pretend' I was the one she was helping, protecting, and comforting.

  10. Hey Kati just a thought why don't you do a vid for your website that has the site rules saves you having to go over it in your vids. Also quick question for you. How do you approach a therapy session if you have not been for a while, as I have an apt on Friday and I am scared about what she will say, and that she might just not want to see me anymore because she might think I am not committed to it. WHICH I AM!!!!! please help thanks jess xx

  11. Hi Kati, I'm recovering from anorexia, depression and self harm. In the past I have relapsed when my life got stressful. I have a lot of major exams coming up and I'm worried that I will relapse again, do you have any advice?

  12. How long do posts normally take to be approved on your site? I'm just getting a little paranoid because it seems yo be taking so long :/

  13. I'm still fighting! (Or trying at least.) Thanks for addressing reasons to stop cutting, because that is one of the things I struggle the most with. It's just easier to give in and if you can't really see a reason to stop, then it's really hard. But you're right, I don't want to have to hide it and I certainly don't want to be like this in 10 years when I have my own family. It sometimes helps me to focus on the fact that at one point I want to be able to say "I got though it, I made it" 🙂 xo

  14. I am still fighting! It feels as if it gets harder to fight every day 🙁 But I do tell my self I'm hangin in there, Getting out of bed, and that's at least something.

  15. Thanks for answering #4…that was a good question and something a lot of us have wondered!!
    thanks for the motivation to keep fighting!

  16. Cutting is unfortunately not solving any problems! So when you're reading this and you maybe just made your first cut or are thinking of making that first cut; don't! Don't make that first cut. It's the beginning of a horrible struggeling. When I did that first cut I never knew where it would get me, seriously. Reach out for help, please! I just got into therapy and it's helping so so so much! I know it seems hard in the beginning and you may not want to get better, but you deserve it!

  17. The fact that you can say you're still fighting is amazing. You've made it to this moment and I'm incredibly proud of you for that <3

  18. I am going to do your journal idea. Is there a work book that you suggest? I recently uploaded a video called my self harm story because one of my friends has been helping me work through some issues that I hadnt been able to deal with.

  19. I have anxiety and being near water or the sea/ocean really makes me feel calm. Its just like my place to escape from everything 🙂 Lovely video kati as always!!

  20. I'm still fighting. I love animals too. My cat is my best freind and the best therapist in the world…so much better than my real one :s

  21. I'm still fighting. Kati you have helped me so much. Although we don't know each other personally I feel like we are close (crazy I know!) just because you are a constant in my life. You always put up your videos and you always have a smile 🙂

  22. I'm still fighting! Kinda stuck in that plateau stage though, how can I make sure I keep making progress? I always get back to an okay stage, maybe at about 70% then get stuck there until another depression hits and drags me down again. The mood issue isn't something I can really control and it always hinders my recovery – how can I stop that? xx

  23. I really liked this video. There is just so much going around my head that I don't know where to start. I'm not in a bad place though but I do still need help and things are clearer. I hope that help will finally come!!! I'm ready

  24. Hey Kati so i need help, i self harm mainly on my thighs but sometimes on my arms. Recently my urge to self harm on my arms has gotten really really bad and im struggling to try avoid it. How can i stop this because i cant cut on my arms because of Uni as i am studying nursing and due to the uniform i must wear everyone will see and it will cause the teacher to question me. x 

  25. Thanks for this video #KatiFAQ; is it normal to loes your confidence when people for example teachers find out about your self harming? Xoxo

  26. Hey I asked number 4! Self harm does help ya I doesn't solve anything it feels like it does in the moment. It makes me feel better maybe not long term. It doesn't numb me out and I like that sometimes. I kinda want to get better but I don't wanna talk bout my issues. I don't trust people. You think I deserve better?? I don't! An can you please answer the part about rubberband snapping?

  27. My therapist asked if I wanted to stop sh and I said yes and then every week when I see him he asked if I did any cutting and I say yes. I feel like he's trying to take that away from me. Also this Monday and one time before he said I think you you don't wanna stop sh and that just gets me upset. He doesn't understand it takes more than 4 weeks to stop sh. I just feel like I'm failing.

  28. I don't live with my mom or dad they left me with my grandparents split and started families without me my dad is halfway around the world and my mom is across the city I see her once a week I see my dad once a year nothing anyone will do will ever solve my problem no one can fix my lungs or heart sure I have medicine that helps me to breath and keeps my heart rate in check but no one can fix that problem self harming cutting sayings on my arms and legs and words helps sure it doesn't solve my problems but no one can so what else am I supposed to do not cut and cry for the rest of my no I am strong I cut maybe once a month not once a day anymore I found my happy place I don't need a mom or dad or perfect lungs or heart instead this September I will be dancing for ten years and I have a notebook that I right in instead of weighting it with a knife on my arms and legs I am better now for all of u who self harm stay with it find your happy place geta hooby listen to music find away to express yourself check out my video on the channel this comment came from about self harming comment if u want me to tell my story

  29. I sadly just properly self-harmed (broke the skin). I normaly just scratch or bite myself. I am gounna hopefully go the the school councellor on monday.

  30. so it is bad that I used to wet myself all the time? I stopped wetting myself around when I was 13 years old. my dad used to physically abuse my siblings and it used to scare me a lot and my mum has always been verbally abusive and I had bad anger issues. what does it mean

  31. I don't know if you'll ever read this, but I need to say, that I'm very thankful for your videos. They helped me a lot today. c:

  32. To question number 2, I had alls of these "symptoms" but I never had any traumatic things happening in my life. The only thing was that I thought my parents wouldn't love me and in the kindergarten nearly nobody wanted to do anything with me and I was really shy so it ws really hard to be around that many people in the kindergarten. But as I said nothing traumatic happend to me. I was just to sensitive.

  33. I just want to comment that, as a person who cuts, the main reason I do it is to deal with feelings I don't want to face. And it works. Those feelings are usually taken care of through cutting … for a little while. But, ultimately, what I'm doing is avoiding the issues that are causing those feelings in the first place. So, for me, cutting is harmful more on a mental and emotional level than it is physically. That's why I think it's important to stop – not because the cuts themselves are terribly harmful (as long as I don't go too deep) but because the avoidance is harmful. It allows the root issues to keep festering, so I never work through them to reach a place where I can be at peace.

  34. What do I do if school is a constant trigger for me? I was bullied at many different schools for 7 years (I'm 14) and the bullying has stopped since my last transfer, but I still find it really emotionally taxing to go to school everyday.

  35. I get really triggered by depressing music….but I used to listen to it a lot and it had no affect then I stopped listening to music all together for no reason I just got annoyed with music. But about 7 months later (I would of been depressed for 5 months then.) and it just really triggered me.

  36. I haven't self harmed for 6 months and I feel like I need to do it again. I'm trying my best though I don't think I can try this hard anymore with school and everything going on in my life. Any advice.

  37. I'd also like to mention in regards to the last question, cutting too deeply and losing a lot of blood consistently can also cause blood/ general health problems. So yes it could have permanent damage to your body, along with the risk of cutting too deep and getting an infection or possibly dying from hitting an artery

  38. Thanks so much Kati. Just gotta say now I'm terrified of infection and all the tricky things that need to happen in order to get my parents to take me to the hospital. Maybe it's good to scared of infection.

  39. On the one hand I really want to stop cutting because I don't want to be dealing with this when I'm in college, but on the other hand I don't want to stop and everytime I come back to it especially now arround the holidays. Also, everytime I see my scars starting to fade I get the urge to bring them back…

  40. You actually make me smile so much. Even going through everything you just made me smile 🙂 Also you probably will never read this but I have a question anyways can overdoing count as self-harm? Recently instead of self-harm (because that gets obvious living in a hot country) I have been overdosing instead and thats making me feel better for some weird reason. I'm scared it could cause real damage but I don't know what else to do now?

  41. Thank you Kati! I've been binge watching your videos recently and find them really helpful and encouraging. The question about reacting to trauma as a child really made me think. I had a bunch of weird behaviors as a child, I was almost unable to make friends before the age of 6, if something scared me (could be anything, a loud noise, anything I found unpredictable) I would go into complete panic and just scream and not be able to calm down. I was an extremely obedient child and never acted up, except for if I was alone with my mom, and the I could throw really bad temper tantrums and not be able to calm down (I suspect this is because she was a safe person for me so I didn't have to fear her being aggressive towards me). I also had constant stomach pains and head aches (I was tested for every allergy possible), as well as nightmares, and even though I never wet my bed, I had to constantly go to the bathroom. As an adult looking back on this, I can see that it was clearly symptoms of trauma, even though I as a child was labeled as overly sensitive and socially awkward. I really wish someone would have realized back then already that I needed professional help.

  42. I am now 8 days clean hehe that is fine
    Scars all on my lower arms and thighs and heels i kinda hate myself still

  43. Hey Kati I know that this is off topic but I really feel like I want to know …ok,so I have a wonderfully,AMAZING therapist and she is so important to me but I'm scared that she's giving up on me .How do I know when my therapist is giving up on me and what are possible reasons to why she would give up on me?Thank You so much you're so awesome and I hope you're having an awesome day🌼🌼🌼

  44. If you put it that way, self harm is like a hug. It solves nothing, but it makes you feel better. Just will the added posibility of negative side effects.
    But people call it an unhealthy coping mechanism. Why?

  45. I think self-harm as a coping skill, it can get to a point where doing it doesn't work as good, so you reach a point of diminishing returns…you have to escalate the pain to get the same kind of fix, like a drug. So it might not be permanent damage right now, but it could slowly creep up to that.

  46. Cutting relieved and distracted me from suicide. Suicidal ideations are part of my mental illness and usually not a problem. These thoughts are triggered by my shame, which I've been able to "manage" via isolation (I know, not healthy either but it brings me peace). The reason I started cutting was due to an emotional and mental breakdown I experienced. The last time I cut was January 2015 (I started May 2013), but that last time I cut I was also experiencing anxiety induced vomiting and fainting, which in the moment I thought I was dying. While I was passing out I remembered thinking how I really didn't want to die. When I came to, this thought stuck with me and I realized what I really wanted was to not suffer, to have peace. This new thinking has helped me focus on seeking out peace and has helped to quiet my suicidal ideations. I only stopped cutting because at first I inaccurately believed that cutting caused me to faint and I loath fainting, but it was my panic attack that caused the fainting. Still nothing is solved but at least I'm not emotionally and mentally falling apart to that same extreme.

  47. I want to tell my therapist about my self harm but then I’m afraid she will tell my mom. And if my mom finds out she will ground me and hurt me emotionally and be so mad at me and I don’t know what to do.

  48. The trigger will pass. I know that because I get using triggers but surf thru and ride the flow away from the trigger. I recognized a trigger to cut but avoided it by knowing I was triggered and I didn’t have to react. I know when I hurt myself it hurts those that care about me so harm reducing is important for healing, you Kati. And everyone that is getting better,,..if you can think of a better way to explain this I give you full editing rights,..or if you like the words and ideas copy them then..

  49. 6:30 it doesn't solve anything long term but neither do other coping mechanisms my therapist shoves down my throat. "Oh read a book, listen to music, talk to a friend!" None of that solves the problem! It just distracts us. I'm not saying you should self harm. I am not pro self harm. But as someone who self harms that was my opinion on that point.

  50. I have stoped and gone months or even year an the start again.
    It is a continuous part of my life.
    I have found though that on the longer periods where are not harming that I was not keeping track of how long it was since the last time.

  51. Whenever I feel the urge to harm myself again, I play the piano to distract myself. It sounds silly but it actually works! Usually it’s a really touching song with a lot of feeling with really simple chords that are easy to learn. I LOVE Billie Eilish. She gets a part of me that nobody gets. I can just pour all my heart and emotion into it and I feel so good when I finally decide to stop. I can go on for hours.

  52. i have been trying a rubber band instead of cutting and to be true, its been helping me stop cutting. im working everday but i can feel myself wanting to go back to cutting. any advice?

  53. Scars. Scars are permanent damage. You might not care now, but that doesn't mean you won't care in the future. Even if you don't think you have a future, even if you don't think you'll ever have a spouse or kids, sometimes life can surprise us in really good ways, and, "Mommy, what are those scars?" might not be a conversation you want to have.

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